Though it has taken me about twelve years and significant struggle against myself I finally know which direction I need to be moving. It felt like an elemental shift took place last night when I had what is probably one of the most important realizations of my life thus far. It isn't anything new, these stones have been turned over in my mind dozens of times, but there was a wholeness naturally arising from the investigation. I felt peace and elation simultaneously. I can't make excuses for it, I know I have to do it, and I can see the manifold outcomes. It takes me to the end result of every goal I have for myself through a career.
The criteria were:
1) Interpersonal value
2) Extension of existing skillsets
3) Potential for stability and financial solvency
4) Creative application
5) Room for interweaving interests, explicitly or implicitly
Physical therapy. I have considered it very seriously before but now all the signs point in the right direction. I will know that what I am doing is of direct benefit to someone else, it is easily wed to my interest in alternative healing practices, and simply thinking of doing that for the rest of my life brings me joy. At the least, I will be employed as a physical therapy assistant (which only requires an associate's degree) by the time my child starts kindergarten. Hope has returned and fear is diminished.
